LEXINE;
no matter what it is.
if i can't see you.
i'll still miss you.
and i'm still proud of you.
no matter what.
i still love you and there is no doubt about that.
you're the sweetest friend anyone could have.
and i thank you for that.
keep your chin up.
understand?
don't cry anymore.
just know that i'll be here.
do your best.
and i'll never leave you.
ever.


so now you're just so against me. everything i do. everything i say. just go ahead.
it doesn't matter. cause to you. i'm just a corrupted piece of shit. nothing more. you ask me if i have a conscience. i do. then what about you? who knows. i know that the things i'm doing now.
isn't the best. okay. maybe it sucks. but maybe its just the little things i need to get me through.
you say that i'm corrupted. mind. body. and soul. so be it. in the past. i quit cause of you. cause i was so in love. so bloody blinded by you. there isn't much i need now. i'm not happy with the way i am but i'm contented. satisfied. i can't say the same for you though. i'm trying hard to make it through. without you by my side. true enough. im falling. but since when have i stopped? but i've stopped crying. i've managed to stop crying everytime i think about you. and i think its good enough. i gave you something i never though i'd give at this point in time. but i did. and you just threw it back in my face. if it meant nothing to you. then so be it. but don't treat it like its some used up tissue paper that you can throw about anytime you want. i should stop caring. but then i dont know why im so upset about this.
maybe this is the reason why.
you've changed so damn much. who are you now? i dont even know. maybe i won't be living much longer. i can't move properly. eat properly. walk properly. breathe properly. maybe i should just drop dead all together.
but then its all just from your mouth.

but then.
after all that.
i've never stopped loving you.
and it never seems enough.


i still think about the things we do. and i know you do to. when you told claire that you think about me. sometimes. just not as often as i do.
but you're the thinker between the both of us. so go figure. if you didn't think that much. we wouldn't have ended up like this.